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how you got me blind is still a mystery
Current mood:  frustrated
Category: Romance and Relationships
i dunno how it all happend.. how i became this victim of a broken heart once again i mean. with everyday that passes i think im going to become a stronger person.. the girl i used to be, confident and all.. but then at the end of the night i break down.
honeslty i dunno why anymore i dunno why i care about him, or even why i think that one day it will make sense. im probably just wasting my time, but really.. who wants to admit that?
when you give your heart to someone and then just kinda juggle with you emotions.. it sucks.. big time.
sometimes i dont understand what i see in him.. but then i remember the way i feel when i hear his voice, when i look into his eyes.. the moments that i spend in his arms and i cant help but fall in love with him all over again. all those minutes i spent looking at him, while he thought it was creepy..
i know some people think im crazy, odd, strange.. whatever but i dont care anymore.. my heart just wont let go even though im trying really hard.. i knew from the moment i met him how i felt about him..
im in love with this boy i know..and i dont care who knows it anymore.. i juss hadda let some shit out
Justine<3
i dunno why but life is so much happier when
theres someone there to hold you hand
as you walk down the street
last night i sat with elvis and we talked for four hours.. it was actually really nice
april 6th = moms bdayy.. we had a really nice day
i hadda get my stitches taken out so we went and did that, then we went to target and shopped
met up with john and kia and went to the jackson hole for brunch.. then we went to bay terrace
when we got back home i made allie come outside with me ad play catch.. it was like watchin paris hilton.. it was way to funny
then i went around with allie looking for a job, and she finally got one.. i helped but thats not the point.
we went out as a family to boulder creek for dinner it was nice
iight i is out
JuStineeeee
it was a good day for the most part.
went to work, then went shopping with susan.
went to moms, ate dinner.
went to the batting cages.. ran into patt and christopher
started thinking about ry.. i jus miss him.. not being with him jus our conversations and stuff.. weird i know
talked to elvis.. i think were guna hang out tomororw.. fun fun
he really is a sweet guy, maybe i should give him a chance? i duno
i dunno whats up with jerkface. i havent really spoken to him. i dunno nothing anymore
i love my shirt today.. it says "i <3 whats his name" haha
i is out.. peace yo.
Justineeeee
i never promised you a ray of light
i never promised thered be sunshine everyday
ill give you everythign i have
the good the bad
why do you put me on a pedestal
im so up high that i can see the ground below
so help me down you got it wrong i dont belong there
one thing is clear i wear a halo when you look at me
but standing from here you wouldnt say so if you were me
and i just wanna love you.. ohh i just wanna love you
today was interesting.. woke up when to mikes did alot of running around.. played catch in the rain mist with mike.
went to lunch with mike christine and cosmin
relaxed
hung out with my mom
ate
went to portias and sat with her and talked for awhile
thinking alot about the boy today.. especially right at this moment thats what kelly clarkson does to me.
damn.
there are these nights that i sing myself to sleep and hope my dreams will bring you close to me.
goodnight. morning.whatever
Justine
so i had work.. interesting. it was such a beautiful day, the last place i wanted to be was at boulder creek. fun funn.
i didnt really do much after work i went with portia to her coaches house and i signed up for the team.. i have to go friday to the batting cages with the team.. i hope that goes well
im going to try and get up early and go to the gym. i think that im guna try and leave with kimmie in the mornings from now on.
so yeah i decided to call andrew. i left him a message. then we spoke for a few mins online. i told him i wanted to talk to him, and i was like i think i owe you and appology and he was like no i owe you one but we never got to talk, so i guess we will save that conversation for another day.
i wanna go and play catch tomorrow.. im really looking forward to it. i just wanna be outside. i think im guna buy rollerblades.. i really want a pair.
i dunno what im talking about anymore. goodnight
Justine<3
so this is how it goes.. sadly i miss andrew, alot. im not so sure what to do about it. i guess theres really nothing i can do. i just miss his voice, his eyes, his smile... everything. maybe one day, some way things will work out for us, because right now its to complicated. it just sucks. i dont know how things are going to end up between us,all i know is how i feel. i dunno what really happened, but i messed things up, once again. all i know is that he has my heart and i dont know if that makes any difference.
on another note.. im done getting hurt though and giving people second and third chances.
so ive been doing the same shit.. relaxing. hung out with elvis tonight, he came over and watched a movie with me and my parents. what fun that was.
i hope i get into school and get away from all this bullshit, outta this town, this house, this fucked up lifestyle.
goodnight
Justine
i love you.
ok so really fast this is whats going on in my life. i had a cyst removed saturday. fun fun fun.
been being abum. trying to rest.
hanging out with elvis.
missing the other boy.
working.
college interview with cortland.. went well.
details to follow later.. to tired.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY COSMIN.
Justine
thats right.. i said it.. i love you and i cant go on without you b.a.b.y <3
i hope everythings alright. i wrote andrew a message tonight and i hope he writes me backk.
saturday i got my tattoo with susan, then i went and hung out with portia and cory.. fun night with aunt linda and uncle johnny.. haha
sunday i got really sick, and left work earlyy susan stayed for me thank goodness. i went to my moms house and passed out at seven and didnt wake up til 830 this morning
then mondya i layed round being a bum.. and i went out and played pool with elvis. it was a funn night. i kicked his ass.. haha actually hes the reason i kept winning.
well thats really it.. i have work at eleven.. lucky me
goodnight
Justine<3
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drained
confused
thoughtful
hopeful
blah